Good riddance 2013!

Somehow the year is suddenly coming to an end...it seems as if 2013 flew by faster than expected (I think I have this same revelation every year, actually). Every year I take the opportunity to look back on the past 12 months and reflect upon what I learned and experienced, and like the rest of the world, I also look ahead to the months to come and wonder what's next. All I can say is that I sure hope 2014 is a bit less dramatic than the past few years have turned out to be. I have set some pretty lofty goals and had a lot of life happen in the past few years, and I still seem amazed at all that has happened in the previous year as the end of December rolls around.

In pure "Stephanie's life" fashion, 2013 has managed to be unexpectedly dramatic. I have seen some pretty major ups and downs in both my own life and the lives of those around me this year. I would like to chalk it up to the fact that "13" is one of those supposed unlucky numbers. Even in the positive moments of this past year, there's been more drama than I'd have hoped. For ever up, there's been a down...and for every down, there's been a pitfall.

In the past 12 months I have experienced some of the most wonderful feelings...a loving relationship, traveling to a new place with a great guy, setting goals for myself and smashing them out of the park, venturing out beyond myself, and continuing to learn more about me each day. I have also seen darkness... I was dealt the blow of yet another failed relationship and the ensuing heartbreak. I hit a lot of road blocks in my personal life that seemed to continue to persist, regardless of how I approached them. I experienced a lot of loss this year, and have only recently begun to recover pieces of myself that were broken along the way.


I succeeded in completing the 70.3 Ironman Augusta this past year, broke my goal time by nearly half an hour, and almost beat my fastest half-marathon time on the run portion of the race (after swimming and biking!). I worked so hard to get to that point. I had spend many months focused on training, and triathlon had become my life. The high of that accomplishment was short-lived, unfortunately, as I was in a car accident less than 2 weeks later, which left me with whiplash, temporary memory problems, and eventually threw my entire life into a tailspin of "wtf" (I can think of no other way to describe it). The thing I enjoyed more than almost anything else in the past few years has been running/training/biking/exercise, and suddenly I couldn't do any of it. Two weeks after my biggest physical accomplishment, I was unable to continue. It has now been over two months since the accident. I am finally running and biking again, but time has taken a toll. I'm slower and unable to run or bike as far as I feel I should be... I feel as if my goals had to be halted.

The accident turned into a nightmare. I was not at fault, had a witness who had to leave the scene, and ended up dealing with a couple who lied to the officer and insurance companies (even got a lawyer) trying to put fault on me. My insurance company didn't seem to care enough to pursue my witness's statement until a month later, and I don't think they tried hard b/c I'm still forking over tons of money. I was emotionally and physically drained, and I had the hardest time reconciling in my mind how any person could knowingly lie at the expense of another person. Grace and forgiveness has been extremely hard for me to give in this situation... I more easily forgave the guy who broke my heart than the couple who broke my car.

As an indirect result of my accident (and very straight-forward conversations with people), I made an unexpected job change, which was one of the hardest decisions I could've imagined, and it left me feeling very broken. Thank God for His provision here b/c my work life is now better than it has been in years. I think the only way I can end this year smiling is knowing that God has my back. Even in the heartache, physical pain, financial strain, and overall stress, He really does step in before it's too late. It's never too late.

Even with the accomplishments of this past year, I feel more beat up and burned out than ever. Two of the things that brought me more joy in this past year are no longer part of my day-to-day. Yes, I will get back to half-ironman shape again before too long (Lord willing), and I'll find a relationship that's better than the last was for that moment in time. Still, it's hard to mark 2013 down in the "win" column of my life at the moment. It's hard to imagine saying that the year of my first half-ironman (and my first actual smaller race wins too) isn't a "win" overall, but that just goes to show how dramatic life can sometimes be. For all the ups, there can be downs...and when the ups are that amazing, I have to be willing to accept and deal with some pretty low downs.

I am not a crier. I don't cry openly, and when I do cry, it's usually because I'm watching a Hallmark commercial (seriously, what is up with those?). I shed more tears in this past year than I think I've shed in a long time...even more rare, I cried in front of more people this past year than I think I've cried in front of in years. Crying is good. Maybe through all of the ups and downs this past year, if I learned nothing else, it's that it is okay to feel... the good and the bad. Not all of this year's tears were bad...I can admit that I teared up at least 4 or 5 times during the half ironman race. I was that excited and proud. Tears are okay, regardless of the reason. (says the girl who refuses to shed a tear in public without getting angry at herself for doing so)

In the past few years, life seems to have gotten more dramatic each year.

• 2009 was the year life gave me a crazy story about my 12-pound tumor (and all the related madness and surgery) I also went to Mexico w/ friends during the swine flu madness, and it was awesome.
• 2010 was a year of recovery...recovering from the surgery and recovering from life in general. It was also the year when I moved back into the city to my wonderful neighborhood. Other than that, an uneventful year for once.
• 2011 was the year I bought a house, decided to start running, and even played soccer again. "Active Stephanie" was born in 2011. I hosted my family's Thanksgiving at my newly-purchased house, broken hand and all (which mean that Mom did all the work, even at my house). I wrote my Pre-30 bucket list and started checking stuff off quickly. 
• 2012 was the year I turned 30. I ran my first 4 half-marathons, I completed my first 3 triathlons, I got hooked on racing and totaled 20 races by the end of 2012, I ran a marathon, I went skydiving, I got a massive tattoo, and I realized that life begins at 30. I also got to nearly replace my roof, had a burst water line to replace, and realized how hard home-ownership could be.
• 2013, this year, has been the usual level of nuts. I continued to race, did a handful of duathlons and triathlons, half-marathons, etc...and I trained and completed (in under 6 hours) a 70.3 Ironman. I took a last-minute trip to Puerto Rico and hung out in a rain forest. I finally got rid of my big orange car. I was on probation for a speeding ticket for a couple of months (thanks Dekalb County). I left the job I've had for over 6 years. I got whiplash from a car wreck, and am now starting at the beginning w/ running/biking again. 

I'm not sure what's to expect in 2014...in fact, I'm scared to imagine what's next!!!



I actually don't typically set New Year's resolutions... I save that resolution stuff for my own new year, my birthday. However, this year, I don't want to wait another 6 months to get myself back on track. If 2013 was a mess b/c of the "unlucky" number 13, then 2014 should be great for me b/c if I ever had a lucky number, it's 14 (was my soccer number, for starters). In 2014, I want to do another 70.3 race and finish in 5:45:00...it's less than 5 min faster than last year, but I also want to be realistic here! I want to break 2 hours for my half marathon, which as soon as I'm back at it shouldn't be a problem. I also would like to place in a few more races this year than I did last year. I don't care if I win, but that drive to be the best is in me, may as well push myself.
If I don't accomplish these things, I'll be fine with that... as long as I am working toward a goal, regardless of the specific goal, I will be happy. In 2014, I will let myself be happy, even when the poop hits the fan.