Leroy Day

One year ago today, I was lying on a table, attached to an IV, prepped for surgery, and sliced open. My insides were out as the surgical staff drained 5 liters from and subsequently removed my almost-football-sized tumor, named Leroy, along with the attached nearly half of my reproductive organs. A few hours later, and 15 pounds lighter, I began to emerge from the anesthesia. I still vaguely remember the last thing I saw before going under and the first things I heard as I woke up. I remember the operating room lights, and the next thing I remember was the sound of nurses trying to talk to me as I shivered and struggled to open my eyes. I don’t think I was actually able to open them completely until I was in my room. I remember the trip from recovery to my room only from the sounds I heard...the first thing I remember seeing as I arrived in my room was my family. The next few minutes were a painful blur. I remember the nursing staff telling me to lift myself from the stretcher to my bed...apparently these geniuses hadn’t noticed the 6-inch gash going down my entire stomach, slicing through my abs, of course. I couldn’t budge. The next few days were the weakest of my entire life. I’m pretty sure I was stronger at birth than I was after this surgery.

Now, one year has passed, and I had almost forgotten how big of a deal this whole ordeal was. I was going through old pictures the other day, and I came across a picture I took of my bulging tumor-belly the day before my surgery. My jaw dropped as I remembered just how I looked. I had lost weight all over my body, but my stomach was huge. It almost gives me chills how quickly the tumor grew at the end, and the fact that the surgery probably couldn’t have been avoided much longer. I feel like in the past year, as I went from big tumor belly to tiny nothing of a belly to slowly building back up to normal belly size, I completely forgot where I was a year ago. I never showed many people the photo I took the day before surgery because in that last month the tumor nearly doubled in size, and I tried my hardest to hide it, even once people knew what was going on. My surgeon was great, she joked with me about the size of the tumor and about how my stomach went from convex to concave in an instant. I also looked at a photo I took a few days after coming home from the hospital...it was such a dramatic difference from the photo from before. I didn’t take many pictures at the time, but I kind of wish I had. I’m a photo junkie and like to have documentation of everything.

Here is a list of a few random things that I think will always remind me of one year ago:
1. Miley Cyrus’s “Party in the USA” (somehow, I woke up after surgery w/ this song in my head)
2. Fall weather/leaves...I’m constantly reminded of how I felt a year ago, as I look out my window at work and see the road I drove down for each doctor’s appointment.
3. Thanksgiving...I was so thankful to be able to eat a real meal last year on T’giving Day.
4. Jello (orange or green)...the first food I was able to keep down in the hospital.
5. Doing sit-ups...yep, every time I do an ab workout I am grateful to be able to sit up...I remember the pain of attempting sit-ups before surgery and the weakness preventing me from sitting up afterwards.
6. Seeing my scar... it looks so much better than I thought it would, but yet it’s uglier than I would like.
7. Any Piedmont Physicians/Hospital signage... yep, they frighten me now.

So, one year later...I’m tumor-free, I don’t look like I’m pregnant anymore, and my chronic back pain is no longer chronic! I can’t say I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been, but I feel pretty darn good. I had to start from point zero this spring as I attempted to get myself back in shape. I knew I wouldn’t be able to rock climb with zero abs; I couldn’t even do sit-ups until about 3 months after surgery (even then I could only do a few at a time). Since then, I’ve climbed a few times, even climbing a few that were near the level I climbed back at my peak climbing time. I have done half of the Insanity workout, which was a test to see if I really was stronger than ever. I may not have been at first, but by the end of that month I felt like a new person. I hope I never take for granted the ability to walk up stairs without being winded. I hope I always remember how during my first few Sundays back at church, I struggled to stand during the worship songs. I hope I always appreciate the ability to simply sit up, stand up, and walk. These simple things were all a challenge, even if only for a short while; I hope I always remember how discouraged I was when I thought I was going to collapse after taking 3 steps. I knew I’d be myself again one day, but I dreaded the process. I had been a healthy, strong rock-climbing fool who’s strongest muscles (the core, the abs) were destroyed only to be build back up very slowly. I was a stubborn, independent woman who was told to sit down, be still, and depend on others.

Below are some of the photos I took...the first time some of these have really been shared. Enjoy (and don't be too grossed out).

12 Hours before the surgery


About 12 hours post-surgery


This was me attempting to smile after surgery


About 4 days after surgery


3 months after surgery...almost as good as new!